When I was in third grade my class learned about legends. We learned that legends are stories that are made up to explain why something is the way it is. I remember that with this assignment, I wrote a story about why calico cats are three colors. I no longer can remember my legend’s explanation for the tri-colored felines, but the lesson of legends stuck with me. This lesson has recently come back to me as I’ve dissected a few family legends.

It’s no wonder that family legends exist. For most people, exact recall of stories is not a strong point. This is why the often-true family stories morph into garbled stories that stretch, distort or confuse the truth. And the fact is, you may have contributed to these stories, not intentionally of course. It’s just that sometimes it’s easy to get confused about which ancestor participated in which event in which place.

I just got off the phone with my mom, and she told me that the Irvings lost their chuck wagon while crossing the Red River. “Or was it the Hughes family? Or maybe the Stevens family? Okay, I definitely remember it was the Irvings.” Now, I don’t mean to nit-pick my mom because any one of us can be this person who is only remembering bits of the true story.

In analyzing family stories it’s important to remember that sometimes not a speck of the story is true. The legend may be that your great-great grandfather died of a monkey bite in Texas while working for the circus. (Yes, this is a real family story of my own). I, unfortunately, have not figured this story out entirely. However, I have found that this great-great-grandfather in question actually died in California and never worked for the circus. His father also is not the man in this story. It’s possible that the story is really about the son of my great-great grandfather, but I haven’t ruled out the possibility that the story is just not true at all. I’d love to know where this story came from, and I do have at least one clue. There was a family member on that branch of the family who did work for the Carl Hagenbeck Circus around the turn of the century.

Usually, there are at least some true bits of a story, and it’s just a matter of figuring out which bits are true. Generally I find that it is best to be skeptical. If I approach the research expecting the entire story to be true, I may overlook important sources that could disprove the family story.

I actually find that the greatest danger in researching family legends is that some family members don’t like to learn that their favorite family stories are not actually true. This is particularly true of stories about ancestors who were prominent, wealthy, royalty, or the first to do something. A lot of people get a kick out of telling about their family stories, and when you take those family stories away from them, they may not have any good stories to tell.

What are your favorite family stories that you just don’t want to let go of?